See How Easily You Can suceed by being an expert listener!

February 14, 2007

“the greatest diplomat or leader is not the one who can speak the best, but the one who can charm others with his ears”
A.Lincon

Recently, I met one of my friends who is a motivational speaker. He’s one of those who always have an aura of charm around them. Its always a pleasure to be in the company such people. He had been recently to a visit to IBM, and he was excited with a new discovery he had made. He told me that he got the chance to converse with one of IBM’s top management personals, and he told a secret.
“ To be a top executive or a leader in any walk of life, 30% of great speaking and 60% of smart listening is needed. The rest 10% other stuff like skill, hard work and so on..”
Those were his exact words, my friend had scribbled them down. Further, he told me some tips to improve listening skills, here are they:

1) Eye contact:
The foremost way to pay attention to someone when he or she is speaking, is by keeping constant eye contact. It does not mean staring. But, a sincere look can produce a wonderful effect.

2) Keep away all distractions:
Close the door (unless it is improper to do so), keep away you cell phone. STOP all work. Doing something else while other person is talking is one of the worst ways to show discourtesy.

3) Pay attention to words:
Stop day dreaming or thinking of something else.

4) Pay attention to Non-verbal clues:
Pay attention to nonverbal cues: Notice pitch, tone and inflection. Observe facial expressions and posture. Is the speaker slouched, turned away from you, or sitting with his arms crossed? These postures may indicate that he is upset – try to find out why.

5) Be concious of “TPS”
Consider the time place or situation when the other person is talking. Same words add up different in different situations.

6) Determine the main need:
Is the speaker eager to get appreciation, or sympathy?

7) Keep away prejudices:
As humans, we are certain to make preconceptions about people. But try to keep the aside; others may have something useful for you.

8) Avoid interrupting:
However enticing it may seem, stop a person mid-way and if its your boss, find a new job!

9) Respond:
Respond appropriately using “I see”, “That makes sense”, “certainly I agree with you” an so on..

10) Ask questions:
Sincerely ask questions when you are unable to comprehend the right meaning.

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