Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer’s Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer’s Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Apu: Please do not offer my god a peanut.
Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn’t, it’s that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.
Mayor Quimby: Can’t we have one meeting that doesn’t end with digging up a corpse?
Homer: There’s your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I’m a boy.
Homer: That’s the spirit. Never give up.
Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don’t show up tomorrow don’t bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.
Bart: What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them — as is my understanding …
Bart: Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun.
What are your favourate ones?